Date You, Sis!

Can I ask a question? Why doesn't anyone ever teach us to enjoy being single? Don't get me wrong...there is absolutely nothing wrong with being married. I've been married for 6 years and even with tough times included, I love doing life with my Husbae, honey! I adore that man, mmkay?! Whew! Okay, I'm back (lol).

But, why does it seem like women are taught to prepare to be a wife and mother as soon as we are old enough to play with baby dolls. Then, it seems to be magnified when you are raised in the church. A lot of what you hear, is that you have to be ready when the time comes for your husband to find you, but who helps us to really be ready? I will be completely transparent, when I got married I was NOT prepared at all. I was actually a bit of a mess...but that's another story for a later date. However, one thing I believe helped me, a great deal, was the fact that I was in a relationship with myself before I met Lawrence.

Oooohh, Sis! Tell me you have been with yourself, please. I don't mean in a Brandy "sitting up in your room" alone type of way. I mean dating, getting to know, loving, giving grace and mercy to yourself- COMMITTEED to you. If you have, that is amazing, but if you haven't, I'm going to need you to do that. You owe that to yourself and you and your future relationship will thank you later.

When I was in relationship with me, I was able to hear God in a way that I had not heard His voice in previous relationships. My discernment became the thing I followed, instead of allowing myself to be pacified with all of the likes and dislikes I had spoon-fed to the second half of previous relationships. I was able to grow up and learn Briana. I grew to love me and decided what was best. I learned to be patient with myself. I prayed that God would teach me to love myself as He loves me....and I did all of this without thinking about preparing to be a wife. I did this to be intentional with loving and enjoying me. I am a firm believer that my time in "hiding" ,as my pastor called it (being single and not being committed to anyone but Briana), assisted in making me the wife i am now. I was able to apply everything from my commitment to myself to my husband; the love, compassion, empathy, patience, mercy, and grace.

When you are intentional about your self-commitment, it leaves little room for the distraction of preparing to be a wife. I'm not saying that preparation is a distraction but when your primary focus is being a wife and a wife only, you my dear are indeed distracted. Being a wife can't happen without knowing the person who is the wife.

So, I say all of that to say this...there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. Use that time to be led by the Holy Spirit and it won't steer you wrong. Date you, Sis.


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